FREE NATALIE.

We had a store meeting last night so a few of us went out to a bar afterwards. There is one guys who is really fired up about social revolution. He raves about capitalism and how we need to speak up for ourselves. A workers peaceful revolution I guess you could say he wants. Then we got onto the topic of religion and money. The two things that seems to tare people apart. As they were talking I just sat there thinking this is too big for me. We all look at it and know that it is upside down. How to go about fixing it? Well there the opinions start to vary.:) Again it is tooo big for me. Which takes me to this. I think I am trying to live too hard. Whatever way I am trying sure doesn't feel free. Having an easy life isn't the point. But having a wholeheartedly free, loving, human life is right?

I was talking to my friend, Alex, on the phone last night. He was waxing eloquent about all the good that he sees around him everyday. He said he has started to trust himself. To take pleasure in things without feeling guilty. He has never been more happy. He has never embraced people with such great abandon! He was talking about how there are so many paths up the mountain and all of us have choices to make. Our own journey. He is convinced it's not so much the destination but the journey. It's seems far off but, Linds, he has really gotten closer to something.

So here I sit. I am thinking about my life. This world view (i don't know what else to call it. I guess it's a good word because it's how I interpret my experiences) I have that is such a part of me. I am convinced that there is something beautiful, good and whole to be salvaged from it. I want to be free and rid of everything else. I don't want it to be a part of me anymore.

So the world is too big and complicated for me. But maybe it just begins with a free Natalie.