In search of language...

I slept a lot the night before last. I slept A LOT last night. I am sure that there are lot's of psychological reasons why I didn't want to get up but as I was trying to fall asleep my mind was whirling as usual and this is what I decided. I know what I believe. I truly do. I think the problem is that I can't seem to convince anyone else that I do. I just don't have the words. So maybe I just need to find some language that expresses what I believe.

There are some things that I do have language for. I feel alone....but hopeful. I know that this pain is for a reason.

Who am I really?

Life has so much crap in it. Seriously. So much has been going on in almost every area of my life that I am tempted to drop to the floor and drown in a pool of woes. But who am I and what am I made of? This week has been a revealing one. With so much to complain about, I can, in all rightness march forward and proclaim myself victimized. Which is exactly what I spent yesterday doing. I went to bed with the words, "I am not doing this unless You are in it, God." Today I woke with the realization that he is not "in it with me," rather I am in it with Him. Life Sucks. Ok Linds, get over it already and get on with loving hurting people who are in your now.

"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down."

I have been doing a lot of wobbling. It is making me tired and a little dizzy but I haven't fallen over yet!:)

I made coconut curry soup and went over to my pastor's house last night. We had a really good conversation. She told me that I am like a weeble right now!:) The great thing is that she wanted to fix me but didn't try. She just engaged the conversation. I think that is somehow the beauty of all of this. No one can fix me. That's where this is taking me. All I can do is pray now. Either He comes to hold me or I'm stuck perpetually wobbling! Hmmm. I am actually not very worried.

Road Trip Anyone?

Have you read the post before this one yet? If you have then my need for this one will make more sense.

I have been thinking. I want to take a road trip. A long one. A couple of weeks. When else is my life am I just going to be able to drop everything and do it? I am going to be moving in with a friend in a couple of weeks but then I will only be with her until July. That would be the ideal time to go. I wouldn't be locked into a lease. I am thinking that I could have enough money saved by then. Buy a kayak maybe.:) Hit the road.

Do you want to come? I know it sounds a little bit crazy but I've just got this itch that isn't going away. Sooooo..... tell me your thoughts.